Jokes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping. After a good meal and a
bottle of wine, they went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke. He woke
Watson and said: „Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” |
|
|
|
Two men are standing on the top of a cliff. One has a budgie on each
shoulder, the other a parrot and a shotgun. The first man jumps off, and on
the way down his two budgies fly away. He crashes on to his back. He looks up
just in time to see his friend jumpf off, too. As the second man jumps, the
parrot flies away. The man pulls out his gun and shoots the bird. He then
crashes on to the rocks as well. The first man turns to him and says: „I
really donīt see what is so great about this budgie-jumping.” The second man
replies: „No, and Iīm not too impressed with this free-fall parrot-Shooting,
either.” |
|
A local priest and
pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said: „The End is
Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!” They planned to hold
up the sign to each passing car. „Leave us alone you
religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the
curve they heard a big splash. „Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, „we
should just put up a sign that says „bridge out” instead?” |
|
|
|
An elderly couple is
vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He
walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, „Notice anything different,
Helen?” Helen looks him
over, „Nope.” Sam says excitedly, „Come
on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Helen looks again, „Nope.”
Frustrated, Sam
storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room
completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this
time, „Notice anything Different?” Helen looks up and
says, „Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down
yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.” Furious, Sam yells, „and
do you know why itīs hanging down, Helen? Itīs hanging down because itīs
looking at my new Boots!” To which Helen
replies, „Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, Shoulda bought a hat.” |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|